Laser Eye Surgery

These are just some of the gifts showered on those who already have everything - except, perhaps, an Oscar - by those seeking the kind of product exposure money can't buy.

Unless, that is, you pay placement companies such as the Los Angeles-based Distinctive Assets, who prepare the losers' bags.

Even the separate nominees' bags feature diamond studded lingerie and a 22-carat gold-leaf hammer.

And while not included in the gift bags, The Glenlivet offered Highland dress outfits for the best actor and best supporting actor nominees.

No one knows if Heath Ledger and David Strathairn will wear kilts, but don't be surprised if next year's ceremony looks like an out-take from Brigadoon.

Read on to find out what's in a loser's bag...

MIRAGE HOTEL AND CASINO GIFT PACKAGE "A palace of delights, where South Seas vibe meets Strip excitement.

Where soft, sunlit days give way to torrid nights," hollers the hotel website, and who are we to argue?

At a cool $27,000 for three nights (with entertainment thrown in, mind you), the Las Vegas hotel with its own volcano is the hottest night spot on the Strip, where the high-rollers are treated like royalty.

HAVAIANAS FLIP-FLOPS A thous...

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